Q&As

My SIL is 29F and her boyfriend is 25M. She started dating him in March and we didn't find out about him being on the registry until late may. My SIL told us about it, and why she doesn't want to break up with him was because it happend a long time ago (3 years ago exact.) I'm not going to go into full detail about what he did but all I am going to say is it was related to a teenager, drugged and r*ped.

My daughter is around the same age as she was (16). I am not comfortable with having her around him after finding out this information. So I decided I don't want her going to this celebration. Instead I will probably take her to a public firework show or if she wants to stay home, that's her choice too.

My husband is angry at me. He thinks she should be allowed to make her own decision regarding the family celebration. He also thinks that because SILs boyfriends actions happend a while ago, he likely isn't like that anymore. He still keeps trying to guilt me into going.

Before anyone says ‘just build a fence’ WE CAN’T AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW. And no, no HOA.

My neighbor set up one of those pantries/farm stands where people can take items that they grew in their garden, pantry stuff, donated stuff, etc. In theory it’s a great idea and especially in a time when life in America sucks ass and people are struggling to make ends meet (my family included)

The problem: people started coming into MY yard to pick things in MY garden. I’ve put up signs saying not to do it, I installed rabbit fence around the garden, I’ve angled a tarp so you can’t see what’s there from the road. People just hold their kids over the fence to pick tomatoes and beans or jump it.

I ended up getting into an argument with a lady over it. I yelled HEY, STOP. THOSE ARE NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE. She told her kid to move faster and then tried to run away. I caught up to her and asked her what the fuck her problem was and she turned it into how dare I swear in front of her child, why am I so angry, am I really that upset about a couple tomatoes. I said I am upset that you are STEALING from me.

The next day, I approached my neighbor. I asked if I could maybe help move it to the other side of their driveway so it’s next to the other neighbor’s house. They don’t have a garden out front. They said at least not until the end of the season. I asked if they could make larger signs, talk to people, just do SOMETHING..

They were like “can you really not afford to share?” I said that they aren’t taking my zucchini because they’re starving, they’re taking my tomatoes because they WANT them. They said that I’m going to have to learn to live with it for now and we can talk about a solution together that will benefit the whole community after. I said I do not care about a solution that benefits the whole community. I care about a solution that stops people from STEALING FROM ME.

So last night it happened again, man in his 50s. I sprayed his ass with the hose. He started yelling at me and after a minute or so the neighbor came out yelling at me too. People have posted on the neighborhood board to be careful if they come by because I’m an asshole. The neighbor says I’m scaring people away from a community resource. I told him that I’m going to continue until he does something about the fucking thieves who feel entitled to MY GARDEN.

I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind here. Am I the asshole for asking them to move it? Am I the asshole for being PISSED OFF that people are fucking STEALING from me? This is food for my family.

First off, thanks for the responses. I got some good ones. I'm happy that so many of you live in places where the cops would do anything about this, but this isn't the reality I'm living. Cops here would not give a shit if I sent them a video of someone picking from my garden. They would laugh in my face. Be thankful if you live in a place where the police are useful.

It looks like signs are the best option for now. Going to make signs indicating heavy use of pesticides and repeating that they are stealing food from the mouths of hungry children. I don't know why the signs we already have up aren't enough. Maybe more will help. I'm sure they won't.

Will also scour Craigslist for free fencing or similar items. Hopefully that pans out.

I (25F) have a six-month-old baby with my ex (24M), and we’ve been trying to co-parent since we split a few months ago but now he’s saying I’m being an “Asshole” for not telling him everything I do when the baby isn’t even with me.

We were together from high school (2015) up until recently. Our breakup happened shortly after I gave birth, when I found out he had been cheating with multiple women. His excuse? That I wasn’t being “sexual enough” postpartum and he had a “high libido.” Yeah… that was enough for me to walk away.

Since then, I’ve been rebuilding my life. I got more involved in my church, formed new friendships, and started feeling like myself again for the first time in a while. I’ve also done everything I can to keep things calm and respectful for the sake of our baby.

But now, he’s making it an issue that I don’t share details about my personal life with him. He says I should be more “transparent” and that it’s important for co-parenting. He wants to know who I’m hanging out with, what I’m doing, who my new friends are, even if I’m just out while he has the baby.

His reasoning? He tells me about what he’s doing, so I should do the same.

But here’s the thing: I’ve never asked him for any of that information. He voluntarily tells me, “I’m about to hang out with this girl,” or “I’ve been seeing someone new” even when our child is not in his care at the time. It’s his personal time, and I’ve told him I don’t need or want those updates. Yet now he’s acting like because he shares that info with me, I owe him the same level of openness, even though I’ve never requested it and it’s unrelated to our child.

He’s also been following some of my new friends on social media and asking me questions about them. My account is private, so I don’t know how he’s even finding them. I suspect he’s using a burner account or he’s viewing my church’s page who posts pictures of me and the people I hang out with at times.. I had to ask them to stop posting me (we have a photography team that takes pictures during service or after service and post them online for media purposes ) for a while because I believe he was using those posts to find my friends and follow them. He’s never reached out to any of them, but the whole thing feels really creepy and invasive. It’s crossing a boundary for me.

I’ve talked to some friends about this, and their opinions are mixed. Some say he has a point that we should be transparent with each other since we share a child. Others think he’s overstepping and that this isn’t part of normal co-parenting, especially since our child hasn’t met any of these people and I’m not dating anyone right now.

Even my mom is siding with him. She’s liked him since we were together in high school, and anytime we argued, she tended to take his side and ask what I did wrong. Now she’s saying I should be open about who I’m hanging out with, to better “co-parent”. That makes me question myself even more.

I’m not trying to be an “asshole” or difficult. I believe in healthy boundaries. If someone’s going to be around my child, I’ll share that. But just living my life and seeing friends when my baby isn’t with me? I don’t think I owe him a play-by-play.

So now I’m wondering AITAH for keeping parts of my life private from my child’s father when it doesn’t involve our child?

✨ Edit to add ✨

Wow, I genuinely didn’t expect this post to get the attention it has (I know everyone says that, but seriously I thought maybe four people would comment). Thank you so much to everyone who’s taken the time to give advice or even just offer support. I’ve been reading through everything, and it’s given me a lot to think about.

A lot of people have mentioned co-parenting apps, which I honestly didn’t know much about before but I’ll definitely be looking into that. Having a structured and more monitored way to communicate feels like something I really need at this point.

There’s no court order in place right now, but I’ve been heavily considering it. Lately, he’s been more and more insistent about knowing the details of my personal life especially if he thinks I’m spending time with male friends. He doesn’t just ask casually, he demands to know who I’m with, even when the baby’s not involved at all. I personally don’t feel like I owe him that kind of access, but it’s becoming a consistent pressure, and I’m starting to feel like court might be the only way to establish clear boundaries.

Some people have asked why my mom seems to be on his side. I touched on this in a comment, but for context: my mom has always been very male-centered. She tends to take the man’s side in most situations she did the same thing to my sister during her marriage issues. When I told her about the cheating, her response was, “Well, men don’t just cheat for no reason. What weren’t you doing?” She’s never really supported me in situations like this. I also think a lot of it stems from her own past my dad cheated on her a lot, and she stayed with him. She genuinely sees cheating as something “normal” that couples should just work through. So no, she wasn’t supportive of me leaving my ex, and she still says I should’ve given him more attention during that time.

On top of that, some people mentioned the possibility that he’s only sharing info about the girls he sees to make me jealous and honestly, I 1000% believe that. I never ask him about what he’s doing when the baby’s not with him, but he offers up these updates like, “Oh I’m hanging out with this girl” or “I’ve been seeing someone.” I think he expected me to react, but I really don’t care and I think the fact that I’m not reacting is what’s frustrating him, so now he’s trying to flip the script and demand transparency from me.

Also… some of y’all suspect my mom might be feeding him info about me and I hate to say it, but I wouldn’t be surprised. She watches my baby sometimes when I go to church events or other things like that, and her and my ex are still Facebook friends & I believe she still has his number … She does brings him up constantly, even saying stuff like, “he’s way cuter than the guy you said was cute” and things like that. So yeah, I wouldn’t be shocked if she’s told him I’ve been out, or who I might be with. I am taking a step back from her and what I tell her and taking a step back from having her watch my child for the time being.

Anyway, thanks again for all the insight. I really appreciate it it’s helped me feel a lot less crazy for being uncomfortable with all this.

Posting for the Americans of course. Please explain this to me in the nerdiest and most techbro of terms. I’m here to learn.

Im 15 years old and on my first day I got fired because I went on my phone to check some texts and watch a little bit of tiktok and when I got off my manager told me that today is my last day because I went on my phone. Im really stressed and just want some advice on how to tell my parents

I am 24 years old and My wife is 25. She is pregnant and due later this year, I start med school next year, everything is already set and I have been admitted to school, however some of my wife’s family has openly stated that it’s selfish to go to med school because I have a kid on the way and they need my time, I decided to become a doctor before my wife was pregnant, and I postponed starting so I can be here with her throughout the whole pregnancy. I am a veteran and the GI Bill will help a lot plus i also receive VA disability, with my income alone we will be fine and I will try my best to be home and with my kid as much as I can, I am not going to med school because I want to be away but because I am working towards our future and my career. They keep telling me that school is too long and that It’s not a good choice. My wife has been supportive, I care more about my wife’s input than her family but I am just trying to see if I am being selfish from someone else’s perspective. So, AITAH for still choosing to go to med school?

I am 21F and my boyfriend is 19M (20 soon). We had been together for 7 months.

My boyfriend is a tiktoker and has over 100k followers. He does prank videos and basically harasses people in public. I didn't know any of this until shortly before my decision to leave him because he simply never told me. I found out after he decided to prank me.

I have a huge fear of spiders and most people are afraid of them in some form but for me it is a lot more severe. I get panic attacks if I see one. A couple days ago my boyfriend thought it would be funny to put a large fake spider in the toilet. I wasn't aware there were cameras hidden in the bathroom. As soon as I opened the lid, I saw it and screamed, ran out, slipped on the ground and sprained my ankle. He just walked in laughing.

He brought me to the clinic after some convicing and my foot really was sprained but not badly. Afterwards He told me about his tiktok and after I looked, I was shocked. He didn't tell me this in the 7 months of dating him. I asked him not to post the video but he still did so I reported it, still hasn't been taken down. I decided to break up with him, giving him two weeks to pack his stuff. I told my family and they think I am over reacting a bit. I honestly am starting to feel like I am. My ankle is still really hard to walk on.

EDIT - I just mean for the times where all is needed is proof of age.

I fully understand why I would need a valid licence/passport to drive and travel.